The transition phase of labor is typically the shortest portion of labor, but also the most dreaded and feared. Contractions are long, strong, and close together.
Can I ease your fears? Let’s pretend we’re in a coffee shop, sipping coffee (decaf, right?)… let’s get started.
This post is third in the series “The Stages of Labor: How to and Helpful Tips”.
- Part 1: Early Labor
- Part 2: Active Labor
- Part 3: Transition
Today we continue our journey through the first stage of labor. In previous posts, we discussed early labor and active labor and in this post we’ll learn all about the transition phase of labor.
Transition Phase of Labor
Like I said above, the transition phase of labor is the shortest but the most intense portion of labor. Transition got its name because it is the part of labor where women transition from stage 1 to stage 2. Stage 2 is pushing. Transition happens right before you start pushing.
Symptoms of the Transition Phase of Labor
If you are experiencing the following symptoms, you may be in transition! Good job, you’re getting closer to meeting your baby.
- Very long contractions lasting around 90 seconds
- In comparison, the average active labor contraction is around 60 seconds and early labor is only at 30 seconds
- Contractions are close together, around 2-3 minutes apart
- Instead of completely going away contractions sometimes “double peak”
- Women feel like they’re not getting a break. You may hear her say, “I’m not getting a break.”
- Hot and sweaty
- Cold and shaky
- Nausea and vomiting
- Crying
- Unable to find a comfortable position
- Contractions increase when changing positions
- Afraid to change positions
- Looking for a way out
- Asking for help
- Water breaking
- Discouragement and/or “giving up”
- Irrational thoughts and behavior (ex: I decided I was going to break my water myself after a failed attempt by my midwife)
- Asking for pain medication
Ways to Cope Through Transition Without an Epidural
Having an unmedicated childbirth is totally possible. There are many ways to decrease the sensation of pain and cope well during a natural childbirth. You can do it!
However, many women receive epidurals during the transition phase of labor because they can’t cope and/or their birth team is unable to help them cope. The following are some amazing ideas to help you through this intense portion of labor.
Remember, you can do it!
Change Positions
One of the best pieces of advice I can give you for coping through the transition phase of labor is to change positions. And change often.
Paradoxically, this is also probably the toughest piece of advice to follow during transition. The thing is, during labor when you get in a position that is working for you, or even if its not, it can be hard to change positions.
When I was in labor and I moved, it sometimes caused additional contractions. I wanted my contractions to go away, or to be less intense, so therefore I thought that if I just remained still things would get better.
However, in order to end the contractions, labor ultimately needs to crank up, get more intense so that you can push your baby out. At some point, you have to decide to accept labor, accept that things aren’t going to go away, and bravely embrace the sensations of birth, because those are what will bring your baby and bring the end.
Labor is such a trip.
Here’s an excerpt of my thoughts during my second birth, a homebirth.
Oh. My. Gosh. I was in so much pain. My contractions weren’t stopping. They would peak and then peak again. I cried out for somebody to help me get up and save me because I was in so much distress. After that contraction was over I did a little internal self-talk.
“Lindsey, you need to be brave. You need to get up and move.”
And so I got up and moved. I was brave.
My baby was born not long after that.
Be encouraged! By being brave and changing positions you might find a more comfortable position and it also might speed up your labor – which is what we want, right?
TIP: If you change positions and it feels AWFUL, try it for three more contractions. If after three contractions it still isn’t working, try something new. Sometimes, however, after three contractions you will find that it is actually working for you. The first contraction after a position change can be hard to cope through.
Here are some positions to try during the transition phase of labor.
- Sitting on the bed
- Standing and leaning into a birth partner, bed, table or wall
- Sitting on a ball
- Leaning on a ball (standing or sitting)
- Peanut ball
- Toilet
- Shower
- Tub
- Squatting (Squatting and pushing before 10 cm was so helpful for me to progress through transition. Use at your own discretion.)
Encouragement
A common signpost of being in transition is feeling like you can’t do it. You might say…
- “I can’t do it.”
- “If I have to do this for another ______, there’s no way I can do this.” (Remember, labor math doesn’t exist!)
- “Someone help me!”
- “I need an epidural. No really, someone get me an epidural.”
You know what? When my doula clients start saying these things I know 1) we are getting close to pushing and 2) I need to increase my support and encouragement.
Encouragement during the transition phase of labor is VITAL. If a woman does not have a team of support to rely on, she will often turn to medication.
This does not have to be! Here are some suggestions for encouragement during that last bit of intense labor.
- “You get to meet your baby soon.”
- “Feeling this way means you’re progressing.”
- “You’re getting closer to your baby.”
- Use Penny Simkin’s “Take Charge Routine“
- “You are doing it! Right now!”
- Reminders that what she’s feeling is normal.
- Read Mother Rising birth affirmations or bible verses for birth
During transition I often felt like something wasn’t working correctly. It seemed like things were hurting far worse than they should and that I wasn’t progressing quickly enough. The cost was far outweighing the perceived benefit.
I found it helpful for people to remind me that things were progressing normally, and in fact they weren’t even going slowly. When you’re in labor it is hard to have an accurate sense of time. Reminders and encouragement are so helpful.
Maintain Focus
During active labor a mom might be more tolerant of external distractions like bright lights, talking, the tv and extra guests. However, during the transition phase of labor things get more intense. Things ramp up, which requires a whole other level of focus.
Unfortunately, instead of enforcing privacy and creating a birth space more conducive to focus, many women request epidurals to accommodate their surroundings instead of requesting the surroundings to accommodate her.
Mamas! This is YOUR DAY! Of all your days here on earth, this is your day to tell others how you want things to go.
Better yet, have your doula or “birth bouncer” (baby’s father, nurse, etc.) enforce privacy for you.
- Ask observers or other unhelpful people to leave.
- Request silence.
- Dim the lights.
- Enforce privacy.
- Turn off the tv.
It is easier to cope through transition within a focused birth space.
Stay Hydrated
Another important part of coping through the transition phase of labor is to stay hydrated. A simple method of staying hydrated is by offering mom sips of ice water between contractions and with a bendy straw.
To help keep mom energized, diluted juices and electrolyte drinks can also be used. Chewing on crushed ice is amazing between contractions. Of course, I love using electrolyte cubes for labor!
Staying hydrated during the transition phase of labor is important especially if mom is vomiting. Dehydration is the enemy!
By staying hydrated you will help keep yourself and baby healthy, give yourself energy and shorten your labor time. STAY HYDRATED!
Stop Complaining
It is really easy to complain during labor, especially transition. However, I’ve repeatedly found relief when I chose to switch gears and stop complaining.
Frankly, nothing was helping anymore and once I decided there was nothing to be done, I stopped whining about it. And instead of complaining and whining, I focused my energy on to other things.
With my second birth I decided to get up and move. With my third birth I decided to start squatting.
By changing my attitude I eased my suffering, became more productive in labor, and helped myself to progress. Who knew, right?
Try Something New
During my third birth (pitocin augmentation) I vocalized a lot. It was very helpful!
However, I got to a point where I wanted to crawl out of my skin – nothing was working anymore. My doula’s touch irritated me, my vocalizing was not helping things, and I was at a loss.
And so, I decided to try something new.
The vocalizing I was doing was NOT working anymore. Nothing really, was working anymore. I became “that lady” in labor. I’m cold… so they put a blanket on me. I’m hot get it off! Push on my back! No stop! No position felt any better. It was awful. It felt like fire. Fire on my belly and fire on my back. Hot, burning fire.
At one point I decided that I needed a different approach and that I was not coping well. So, I decided to sit on the hospital bed and not vocalize at all. Now, to the observer it probably looked like I was feeling pretty good but it was still terrible. It didn’t get better, the contractions were still hell. However, after doing a few contractions like this I felt a little bit less out of control. My contractions spaced out the tiniest bit (which is probably when Tanashia turned the pit up haha) and I got to doze between contractions. This was my big aha moment during my Pitocin experience. I had the courage to change things up when nothing was working anymore.
Trying something new was scary. However, it actually turned out to be helpful. If you don’t know what to do to cope during transition, try something completely new, and possibly a bit scary. It worked for me!
Let It Go
My final piece of advice for coping through the transition phase of labor is to just let go. Channel your inner Elsa and just LET IT GO.
As a doula observing births and as a mom experiencing labor, I have found that once we decide to stop fighting labor, but embrace and work with it, our bodies relax and things progress.
Let it happen.
Allow your body to open.
Let your baby come down.
Transition Phase of Labor – YOU GOT THIS!
Ladies, YOU CAN DO THIS!
Don’t let anybody tell you that transition is too difficult to deal with without an epidural. (Sure, epidurals can be used wisely and compassionately. Epidurals absolutely have their place… But that’s another blog post.)
You can absolutely, positively have a natural birth! You can make it through transition without an epidural. By using the tips, tricks and strategies above you will be well on your way to rocking an unmedicated birth.
Rock on, mamas!
Leave a Comment
If you had an unmedicated birth, please leave a comment and let me know how you coped through transition. I can’t wait to read all about it!
Check out my NEWEST eBook: A Simple Guide to the Hard Parts of Labor! What's inside? ---->> ALL of my best information about getting through the hard parts of labor. Want a copy? Simply click the image above, follow the prompts, and it will be delivered to you today!
Ann says
With my recent birth, I went from active labor at 6cm to pushing while in the tub. Pain was way worse before getting in the tub, so it didn’t seem like I really went through a transition.
My prior birth, I got through transition by kneeling and “breathing my baby down”. By focusing on getting baby into position, it was a great distraction from labor pain. I was almost in a trance and, dare I say, contractions were much less painful.
Lindsey Morrow says
Awesome!
Megan poundeRS says
I love the idea of “breathing baby down” but I will delivering in dec and I already know I am going to need to focus on the actual birth and visualize him moving down and out to accomplish natural birth!! Any advice is needed!!
Denise says
You know, I am never much aware of being in transition. Maybe that is one of the wonderful things about having a doula-I let my monkey brain take over and my doula guides me through. I recall you having me move through several positions at the ends of all the labors.
Starlene @ GAPS Diet Journey says
My sons were born 30 and 26 years ago. Both hospital births. I remember being better prepared with my second. I do remember being in the bathroom with my friend and telling her, “I can’t do this. Can’t I stop for awhile and go home?” I knew that I couldn’t, but I also knew I was in transition.
I am our family’s doula. One of the things I found was very important for my sisters was to pay attention to their face. If they had their eyes closed and were frowning and agonizing, I would ask them to open their eyes and look at me and I would hold their hands and we would breath through the contractions. For myself personally, I felt having my eyes closed that I was in a personal hell, it helped me very much to have someone outside hold my hands, concentrate and focus with me.
Still love birth stories. 🙂
Leeann says
This is so important. Keeping eyes open is the best thing to do. I know that for me, I would close my eyes and you perfectly described it… I was in my own personal hell and there was no way of getting out of it. It was like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from. This next time, I’m going to remember to keep my eyes opened and focus on letting the contractions work for me and not against me.
Kate says
Further proof that each and every birth is special and unique:). I was the exact opposite! I think I had my eyes closed through the majority of labor and it totally worked for me. That, and my husband applying counter pressure to my hips, through each contraction and groaning along with me. I went from 7pm early labor, active by 1am. Arrived at birth center at 4:20, got into the tub at 5:30. Water broke in the tub and our beautiful boy arrived at 7:22am after 2 short pushes. My doula and my husband were the BEST team.
Sarah says
I had a hospital birth and was 6-7 cm when I arrived at 2:30am. Baby boy was born at 1:45pm (I was at 9.5cm for 5 hours). Luckily, the laboring mother has no concept of time, and the whole labor/delivery felt like maybe 6 hours rather than almost 12 hours. I vocalized a lot (“shhhhh,” “ahhhhhh,”), and my doula would say a few positive words if I had an intense contraction. I always felt empowered, not “victimized.” In transition, I was super reluctant to change positions, but my doula was gently encouraging with offering to help change things up. Eventually, I squatted on the bed with the help of the squat bar during contractions. When they confirmed I was 10cm, I started pushing when the contractions came. I needed coaching because I didn’t know how to push (that feeling wasn’t there yet). My nurse coached me through it in a gentle, easy-to-digest way, and then things started moving! I apparently pushed for 1.5 hours (although it felt like 20 minutes). I think my water broke during pushing, and baby emerging was a complete blur. All the sudden, this warm slippery baby was in my arms. It was like a dream, and the intensity was instantly gone. My placenta came out easily shortly thereafter, thank goodness. Anyway! It’s fascinating to see how many of the points in your blog post match with my experience.
Lindsey Morrow says
Thanks for posting this! I met a mama today (she’s still at the hospital) and she said this post helped her through transition. Yesterday! So great.
Ariell says
Looking back I think I hit transition when I asked people in the room to please shoot me. At 9.5 cm I requested an epidural and being the OR nurse I am I was focused on making sure the table was set up sterilely. It took a few minutes to set things up and when it became time I stood up on the side of the bed to get the epidural and I felt the baby push itself down in my pelvis. I didn’t need the epidural because they got me back into bed and it was time to push. I think being distracted and the position change helped me progress the last bit.
Lindsey Morrow says
I love this. It’s so interesting to me how we cope through transition.
rosie says
When ever i felt out of control or it was to much i just brought forward the thought that the only other alternative was to allow someone to place a needle into my spinal cord and inject a chemical substance into my central nervous system, (this was my gratest fear preparing for my fist child, so much that i had stronly said to the prenatal nurses that if i needed a c-section i wanted to be put out via intavenus drugs rather than have a epidural) this thought very quickly brought me back on track that what i was doing was natural and way more beneficial for my body, i also relished in the fact that after delivery i could walk and shower, wiggle my toes, this strenthed the decision i made was right for me and made me stronger with my other childrens deliveries, less afraid.
Tess says
Well done! Great insight
Leah says
I like to labor alone, in the bathroom, preferably in the shower with warm water on my back. Once the contractions start to space out again, I go back to the bed. Usually, baby is born very shortly afterwards.
Suzanne says
I had my fifth baby, two weeks ago. He was my second water birth. Transition was very short for me. But I self talked and reminded myself that with each contraction, I was closer to holding my baby.
I actually thought my labor stalled when I got into the tub because I felt like my contractions had stopped. I thought I was only at a 4 or 5 because labor was tolerable up to this point. My midwife checked me and I was a 9, with a little piece of cervix that needed to move before pushing. She instructed me to get on all four and breathe through the next contraction so baby could move the little piece left. I was so close! Two contractions later, he was born! Amazing how your body and your baby work together.
EmilY says
I just had my first baby. You are a pro. Any tips? I wanted a water birth but it did not work out. Did you have a doula or a midwife? I am a nurse. I was reluctant at first to even get the IV. The doc came in and said things needed to progress and I was so frustrated. Any information you have on water birth? During transition I went to such a weird place in my head. Oddly, after much praying I was able to find inspiration.
ChrisSy says
Hi there.
I am a midwife and do most of my private births in water at a birthing unit or at the woman’s home. Occasionally I have to transfer for intervention but rarely. I do not have doulas but the woman has her husband or partner. I go and see women at home for assessment before making plans for the next bit as I do not want them coming in too early – it is better to stay at home, relax, potter and not be tense. Having a baby is a process only – let it alone to do its thing without time restraints, plans and despair of ‘Why is it taking by so long?’ It will take as long as it needs and your midwife will know if you need intervention. Keep calm, keep breathing, keep focussed – it is one day and remember, labour only starts when you are fully effaced and 4cm dilated. Until then, it is latent phase only. Be prepared ❤️
Hadiza says
When I was having my first baby,pushing was the easiest part of labour. I was in so much pain that I begged for CS. The nurse fooled me into believing the dr was on his way. I stopped waiting for the baby and was waiting for the dr. This took my mind off the pain. Suddenly I felt a ball stuck in my anus,it was my baby crowning and fully ready to be born. I pushed him out with one push and in less than 2 minutes.
Lo says
I was talking to my gynecologist and after I told her I was planning on getting pregnant and am wanting to do a natural/tub birth, she was very discouraging of that process. She made me somewhat afraid (as I am set on having a natural/tub birth) because she said that I am most likely too petite to give birth naturally and that tub births are extremely unsanitary. Any thoughts? I have done my research and even found an amazing birthing center near my home but after hearing this I am a bit nervous. Would you suggest a new gynecologist?
Lindsey Morrow says
Girlfriend, find another care provider! If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is. If you are wanting a natural birth, she should support you. If she is ignorant of natural childbirthing practices (waterbirth) she should inform you. Are the tubs dirty where your OBGYN practices? If so, that’s another red flag. 😉 At minimum, go interview the care providers at the birth center. That will help you make an informed decision.
Tiffany says
I am 5’0 and 100 lbs not pregnant, I’ve had 4 kids vaginally. One was 9lb 6oz! I did have epidurals, but didn’t need c sections or help delivering. You can do it! I’m having number 5 in Nov and this one will be au’ Natural 🙂
Kayla says
Getting ready to have baby #4 and I want a natural birth. I had a natural birth with the first, when I was 19. It was horrific! I swore never again. I had an epidural with the other two, though it helped immensely, receiving them hurt so bad and even though it’s been almost 5 years since my last baby my back still hurts in that spot. So I really want to do this naturally. But I’m not going to lie, I’m really scared. This article has a lot of great information that I hope to keep in mind when the time comes. Thank you.
Lindsey Morrow says
I’m so glad you found it to be helpful! You can do it!! (Hire a doula!!)
Heidi says
Bath
Mel says
I went through most of my labor at home. I remember walking up and down the stairs, running in place, squatting. My contractions were only 45 seconds long and 3-4 sometimes 7 minutes apart. The nurses told me to stay home, one hour later I couldn’t tolerate the pain my SO forced me to go to the hospital. When I arrived I was actually 9cm dialated. I remember telling boyfriend that I wanted an epidural that I couldn’t do another minute of this pain. I immediately started pushing through contractions, my water broke, and baby was born 20 minutes later.
Lindsey Morrow says
LOVE this. ♥
k3mommas says
I had planned a natural, hospital birth with my second child after I had labored for four days and not felt any pain with the contractions. I got to 10cm and had my water broken and still felt nothing. I refused any meds and had the natural birth. My doctor turned the pit on and within two minutes I finally felt the contractions. I listened to Shane and Shane and gritted my teeth through each contraction. My doctor had me go in the running man position and my daughter finally shifted down. Then she had my rock on all fours and within three rocks I was ready to push. I just stayed focused and had my husband every step of the way. He counted, calmed, and encouraged me to finish as planned. I delivered on my back, which was awful. For this one I plan to find out about the squatting bar. My first birth was an early, medically-needed induction that ended in a c-sec after 48 hours of intense pitocin labor. All in all, I handle transition best when I can rest for a second between pushes. Squatting may hurry this baby out!
Lindsey Morrow says
Have you read my blog post about preventing tearing? The research says that squatting increases tearing. Yikes!
Beth says
I had an induced hospital birth for my son (preeclampsia) and I wasn’t allowed to move for the possibility of seizing was high. I was thinking I didn’t know what transitional labor was. And then you said it. And I remember being ok with the contractions (you know, because I decided to wait in my planned epidermal and I didn’t need it yet), and then my irregular contractions got intense and I had an IV pain killer and then they got more intense and then we were waiting for the epidermal to come…. And then it was too late and you know, the pushing part was way more bareable than the contractions were and he was out in 30 minutes. This time I’m hoping to do another non-epideral (maybe pain killer free??) but we will see.
Lindsey Morrow says
You can do it!!
Jessica K smith says
With my first my contractions were doubling up and I thought I was going to pass out and thought I couldn’t do it so I got an epidural. With my second I hit transition so suddenly after having a relatively gentle active phase. I knew I didn’t want an epidural so even though I thought I was going to pass out again I had my husband hit the button for the nurse. I had to move back to the bed because I started transition while in the bathroom. So moving probably did help me because all of those contractions on the way back to the bed were super crazy hard but after each one I just put my arms around my belly and thought about my baby. With my first after I got my epidural they had me rest and descend for 5 hours while being fully dilated and his poor head was so smushed. So with my second I remembered how each contraction is pushing their little head into your cervix so hard and that you are in it together. I talked to my daughter after each contraction and I really felt like it helped me relax and I felt like we did it together. Also each contraction was so strong that my belly was literally folded around her little body so I could see right where her back was and her bum and everything. It hurt so bad but I tried to observe things like that and think about them. My nurse telling me how strong I was and how impressed she was helped me so much too.
Lindsey Morrow says
Thank you, Jessica for this! I love to hear how each woman copes through labor. We can all learn from each other!
NICole says
I think focusing on my baby and knowing they are going through a very uncomfortable time too will help me focus the most! They want out just as bad as you want them out! I hope that knowing with every contraction they are closer to being comfortable again and with me will be the best reminder. Thank you for validating that!!!
Marisa Garcia says
I wanted an unmediated birth from the beginning and hired a doula to help. I also used hypnobirthing, which I think made all the difference. It really allowed my mind to shut off and let my body do the work. That was until I hit transition. I just remember the pain was so intense and there was no break. I never asked for an epidural, bc I hate needles, but I remember thinking that I wish someone would tell me about this new alternative to an epidural that would make this stop. When I finally said, I can’t do this anymore, my doula just replied, “yes you can, transition is just rough.” That’s all it took to snap me out of it and realize how close I was to meeting my baby. I didn’t realize I was in transition, I just thought I might have hours left of that level of pain. From there with every contraction I would say to myself “come on down baby” and I was pushing before I knew it and only pushed for 5 min.
Lindsey Morrow says
Yes! Thank goodness for reminders of what’s happening. It’s so easy to forget.
Gracie says
I’m getting induced today at 4pm…I’m going through so many emotions right now, scared, nervous, excited all at once. I hope I can get through this some of these stories helped. All I can say to myself is that I can do it!!!
Rachel says
Thanks for the tips! I will be 27 weeks with Baby #1 tomorrow. I am hoping for a natural birth in the hospital…mostly because I am terrified of needles, but also because I don’t like the idea of being stuck in a bed for so long. The pain, at this point in my pregnancy, doesn’t scare me or make me nervous. What does worry me is that I will end up taking the epidural and regret it later. I am hoping to just stay focused through everything, and am researching hypnobirth and relaxation techniques. My husband and my best friend are really supportive of my decision to try med free, so we will see how it goes.
Lindsey Morrow says
I’m so glad you have a great support system. It’s SO important!
Grace says
I spent the end of active labor and transition in a hot bathtub, alone, with the lights off, with a playlist of my favorite songs going. The warm water helped my muscles relax in between contractions. I had been induced, so I was assuming labor would last like 36 hours. While this wasn’t the case, I had the mindset with each contraction that the next one would be worse, and that there were many more coming. Rather than being discouraging, this somehow helped me— it was like pacing myself for a marathon. I was shocked (in a good way!) when it was suddenly time to push. Of course, I had a manual placenta removal after my unmedicated labor and delivery. It hurt WAY worse that anything else— I was ready for meds at that point! But honestly, you forget about the pain once you’re holding that baby in your arms.
Lisa says
Great post! (I just found out I’m pregnant with number 2, ssshhhh!) My little guy just turned one, so labor is still a little fresh. I’m planning another natural unmedicated birth with my lovely midwife, but transition is still intense to think about!
During labor, I spent most of the day in an amazing tub, felt pretty good, and actually had a few early pushing urges in there, but I had a little bit to go and I was feeling nauseous, and panicky. My midwife suggested I get out and move and I remember telling her I really didn’t want to and I didn’t think that I could do it in a very sad way. She suggested the shower. I was having a hard time standing up in there, so I was in all fours in there. My SO (an ex Army guy and police officer) came in and said, “Lisa, look at me. You’ve got so much more in you! I know how strong you are. Let’s go do this” He helped me stand up, wrapped me in a towel and we moved in to the other room. After that, I kneeled on the bed, and it was time to push. I truly believe that moving, and some strong encouragement, is the only thing that got me past that point.
Erica says
I am scared about going natural as I have tried twice already but was given Pitocin. My contractions have been so intense. But with all 3 pregnancies, I have contracted regularly for months ahead of time. This current pregnancy, I’ve had them for 20 weeks. I am due in just a couple weeks and still in debate. I don’t have a soul or midwife, although I wish I did tremendously for support. My last pregnancy I made it to 7cm and my caregivers were encouraging an epidural as my son was in distress due to my reactions to the transistion. So any and all helpful hints I am open and thankful for as 3rd time has to be a charm!
EmilY says
Good luck to you. I also was refusing epidural until doc told me same thing. I wish I had a different doc, who spent more time with me. I was screaming in transition. I isn’t know how far along I was but then it was shift change of nurses and I liked this nurse better so I really listened to her advice.
Vickyc says
My waters had broken before my contractions had started so no one checked how far along i was. I was on the labour ward and Hubby was sent home at end of visiting hours so i ended up doing the transition stage alone – pacing the hall. My contractions felt continuous! By the time he was allowed back i was asking for an epidural. My midwife checked and I was 8 cm then and never got the epidural or morphine they offered as the urge to push came. Whether they deliberately delayed i dont know but i managed to do it with only gas and air in the end. I really think all that walking /being upright helped too. Now 30 weeks with my second, so im hoping to keep upright, change positions and remember im nearly there during that transition stage like you suggest!
Carlee says
Thank you! I am 34 weeks pregnant with my first and wanting to have an unmediated birth. Your article gave me a lot to think about and to apply.
Lindsey Morrow says
You’re welcome!
BethAnn says
I have delivered six healthy babies. All in the hospital and all but one required pitocin. All were natural births but one in which I had an epidural.
During the transition phase, I seem to cry out for God to help me get through and always I am reminded that I am in a phase that lasts a little while. Time does seem to disappear at this point. I self talk and tell myself that intense pain must happen to get it all to end.
I tend to withdraw inside of myself, completely blocking out everyone and everything (sound, light, etc.) in the room. This helps me cope. During my last two transitions I had nurses who helped me change positions frequently which helped so much more than just lying in bed.
During the last birth, as I was pushing, I had unknowingly tightened up my shoulders and arms. I was coached to loosen them and drop my shoulders, and that helped bring baby’s shoulders out.
Btw, my only labor with an epidural was my worst labor.
If you have to be induced with pitocin, I learned to request that they break your water first and only turn on the least amount of pitocin slowly, if breaking your water doesn’t help you progress. Avoid letting them break your water and dial up the pitocin simultaneously. That sends you into a time of intense pain too quickly, without being able to work into the pain slowly.
EmilY says
You must have good support people. I totally am the same about the pain and praying out to God. At that point I was really praying out to God in any form please help me get through. I wish I hadn’t needed epidural. It hurt to and caused a weird pain along my side so I was uncomfortable 2-3 hours after it had set in
Mony says
I’m thinking of not using any medication during labor and have been looking for information about how to cope during this time. This article has been much helpful, as reading through it made me picture all of you tips. My guess is that I will forget al the tips as soon as those contractions get stronger but will try to remember your words. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Lindsey Morrow says
You might love having a doula! That way you don’t need to remember anything. 🙂
Rachel says
17 years ago I had my first child, I was induced and had a epidural. 15 years ago I had my second children, I promised myself after my first child I would never be induced or have a epidural again. Times have changed since then, and in August 2015 I had my third child. I was induced with my third child but it was different from 17 years ago, but again I swore no to a epidural , or any pain medicine. I am British but live in Holland, and in Holland it’s not normal to have pain medicine. I mean none!! No gas and air, no epidural, no anything, they like to do it completely natural. After my experiences my view is go natural!! After a epidural you can’t stand, you can’t shower, you can’t get out of bed to get your baby. I hated being useless. I wanted to shower. I wanted to go to the toilet, I wanted to look out the window with my new baby. Labour hurts, but once your hold your baby for the first time its all worth it. The pain goes, and you will still feel human. To get through my labours I showered, I stood under the shower for about a hour or more and let my body do what it was made to do. I moaned. I groaned, I told my husband I could kill him, but I kept strong knowing in the end it would be worth it. with my third baby after coming out the shower the midwife looked at me and told me I could push, three pushes later she was there. In three weeks time I will be induced for baby number four. I am scared about the pain but I know if I trust my body it will know what to do. I don’t plan on taking any kind of pain medicine. Just standing under a hot shower and letting my body do its thing. Every labour is different and you never know how you will feel, but I have learnt just when you think ‘i can’t take anymore’ that’s when you are ready to push and meet your baby.
Lindsey Morrow says
What great advice and encouragement! Thank you!
Rachel says
So, I had my daughter on 27 November and thought I would put my experience on the Web. Everything was going fine! I was induced. This was done with a tablet that was inserted in my vagina and left for five hours to help make the cervix “ripe”. They repeat this three times throughout the day. I had exactly the same as with my third child. And after my third tablet I was 10 cm. We just had to wait for my waters to break and then I could push. I was feeling strong and breathing through any pain. I was certain my daughter would come before midnight!! I sat on the bed, I sat on the chair, I breathed and waited. After about 4 hours my waters still hadn’t broken!! The gynecologist said they could break my waters and push her down as she was not moving down, even though I was for four hours 10 cm. They told me it was dangerous as when the water gets broken the force of water could push the baby’s head and umbilical cord down together, and the umbilical cord could get stuck in my pelvis with her head and then I would have to be rushed for c-section as she wouldn’t get anything from the umbilical cord because it would be trapped. I decided to let them break my waters. Once my waters were broken the contractions got stronger, but I stayed relaxed and breathed through. After a further two hours of nothing changing, still ten cm and my waters broken I decided I would have pain medicine. I was given a pump and could click on a button when I had a contraction. I was basically given morphine. After about two more hours we stopped the pain relief and tried again to push. I could feel she didn’t move!! I knew she wasn’t moving down!! I started to panic!! How would this baby come out if she wouldn’t move down?? The gynecologist told me that she thought the best plan was a c-section. I knew there was no other way for my daughter to be born and I said ok. As soon as that was said we were running through corridors to the operating theatre. I obviously had a epidural!! On my birth plan was as number 1, no epidural, unless with a c-section. Number 2, no c-section!! So, after my first post saying I am not having a epidural, and my birth plan saying I don’t want a epidural, how do I feel?? I was in shock and panic when I made the choice to have a c-section and start therapy to get over the fact I had a c-section. I don’t blame anyone!! Things sometimes just don’t go as you planned. If you decide to go for naturel birth, just remember sometimes things are out of your control! If I decide to have another child, I will still go epidural free!! I will still go naturel birth!! But if things don’t go as planned, I will still be proud of trying!!
Kymb says
Wow, I can’t agree enough with all of this. I found it bringing back memories that had been a bit fuzzy despite not having an epidural. Some of the best advice I got while pregnant was to remember that the only way to make the pain stop is for baby to be born. Sounds obvious but keeping it in mind helped a lot. Something that contributed greatly to having a positive labour for me was my determination noto to get stuck on specific expectations. I had read too many stories of women feeling guilty or like they failed because they were not able to have the birth they wanted. My strategy for avoiding that was to visualize the way I wanted things to go but to always reminding myself that it will be why it will be and my my main goal was to have a healthy baby. I can’t stress enough how much the support of those with makes a difference. I was really caught off guard by how emotionally vulnerable I became during labou. Haveing the encouragement of my mother and my partner gave me so much strength. When I got to the point where I heard myself say ” I can’t do this!” the doctor told me she could see the top of his head and that was what I needed. Just to know that he was almost there was like flipping a switch. I became a wild animal, a force of nature. I had no idea how strong I was until I had my son.
Shandi says
I had my first baby earlier this year in May. I really wanted to have a drug free birth. I had a midwife and a doula.My labor was 56 hours long. I was at 6cm for many hours and 8 cm for 6 hours. I had been up for 3 days so after being checked again and I was still at 8cm I just didn’t have the energy to keep going. I fought so hard up to that point but I had nothing left. I opted for an epidural and was able to rest for 3 hours before I was ready to push. I know that the was the right decision for me at the time. However thinking about having another baby in the future scares me. I want a entire natural birth so bad. I know I can do but the fear of another long birth scares me.
Lindsey Morrow says
Hey Shandi! Thanks for commenting and… can I say something? You are a rock star. A warrior! WOW! You labored for so long without an epidural… way longer than I think I could EVER do. WELL DONE! I think it was very wise and compassionate of you to get an epidural at that point. For now, why don’t you put a simple practice in place and say to yourself things like this – “I did my best!” or “I am a long labor warrior!” or “I gave it my all!” before you start to think about birth #2, do some inner work and heal from birth #1. Hope that helps!
Kris says
I am expecting # 9. This comment of healing from the previous experiences was profound and flipped a switch with me. I often feel guilty about not having natural labors, though I’ve desired one. Of the eight children I’ve birthed, only one (baby 4) was birthed without an epidural, in which case I remember feeling completely tense and out of control. My last labor stalled and I hadn’t slept in about 2 days and walked forever. I too was so exhausted I caved for the epidural and actually gave birth soon after. I need to find some faith in myself that I can have a natural birth and move past traumatic past births. Giving birth terrifies me, but holding those babies right after… nothing compares to that moment, especially skin to skin and nursing for an hour.
EmilY says
I wanted it too. I yelled at my husband cursing bc I was frustrated.
Elizabeth says
I’ve had 8 unmedicated births with my 9th little due in May 2017. I’ve always viewed birth as a long day of work followed by an intensely satisfying outcome or end product. A baby. MY BABY. Rather then think of it as a spa day with the pretty pajamas and scented candles, it was all about the hospital duds and a birth ball. And the bathtub with some serious warm water. 4 of my births were induced and thus the contractions were more intense then my natural contractions. Coming up with a game plan was imperative. Distractions and having my “birth bouncer” do his job made all the difference. I’ve also had to come up with a plan for the midwives I’ve ended up with who were not familiar with natural labor. For baby #8, my midwife looked scared. I knew everything was going well despite being intense due to pitocin. After delivery she actually said out loud that I was her first birth in which pitocin was used without pain management. I told her, while nursing my sweet newborn, “eh, it wasn’t that bad.” She was horrified. I told her to work on encouraging a mama in labor with induction that it can be done without epidural. No joke. She shook her head and went back to monitoring my bleeding as I delivered my placenta. It’s work not a spa day… and then you get your baby. What better reward for a hard days work. And it was actually 5 hrs of work.
Ariell says
Great job on doing it natural on pitocin you are one strong mama! Also happy you showed a midwife everything is possible wI think the right mind set!
Lindley says
I love this post! Because I was a VBAC I had to stay on the monitors. But that didn’t mean I stayed still and in bed. I took frequent bathroom breaks (didn’t even have to go, just wanted to be up and moving), and I was up out of be. My poor nurse (and co-worker) sat on the floor holding my monitor in place so I could stand by the bed. Once transition hit, I stayed in the bed better, but was all over the bed haha. From 9cm until the push before Keegan was born I was kneeling at the top of the bed holding onto the IV guides and rocking my hips. Thank goodness for my Doula, because without her reminding me to relax and breathe, I would have given in.
Jess says
I have had 4 natural,non medicated births. All went perfectly fine. Last was the quickest (the more you have the quicker they go!) I told the midwife I was scared with him. She replied omg what are you scared of you’ve done this 3 times before. I said exactly! Lol no coped pretty well really. Best position to be in, on your knees with arms on the bed head. Gravity helps but you’re on the bed for if you get tired. And just breathe. I never did the classes just copied what I remembered in movies lol actually works SO well! Don’t eat heavy meals of you feel heavy or close to ‘the arrival’ and try to empty your bowels. Get them to play music in the room . Midwife put easy listening on their little screen using Pandora in the birthing room. Made it so much better and dimmed the lights. Ps don’t bother with a doctor midwife are the go, obviously doctor is nearby in case something goes wrong but midwives are amazing! !!
Melanie says
I gave birth to my 4th baby just over 4weeks ago. His labour was as different as it could possibly be from my previous ones. They were all over 24hrs. His was 3hrs from waters breaking, no contractions for the first 30mins.
I didn’t realise I was going through transition as I thought I had hours and hours of labour to go. I was in the birth pool in my kitchen and my contractions were double peaking. I started to feel terrified that I wouldn’t get my homebirth as I couldn’t handle the pain for 12hrs! But I focused and went into myself. Focusing only on the music that was playing and rocking in the pool, breathing and moaning, pushing out the pain. I didn’t speak to anyone between contractions. I focused entirely on myself and my body.
the pain was intense but my baby boy was born and delivered by my husband as the midwives were on their way (we hadn’t called them soon enough as were sure there was still a long way to go!)
It was an incredible experience. And im incredibly proud of my body for delivering my 10lb baby boy quickly and easily with no pain relief at all.
Lauren says
I am a first time mom preparing to give birth in March. I am wanting/planning to have a natural birth/labor and all these stories from other moms are SO encouraging! I’m book marking this post so I can continue to come back and reread these comments closer to my due date.
Shannon johnson says
Another good tip is meditation/visualization. I had both of my boys with no medicine. I didn’t even get an IV!
Amber says
I have 4 sons, 3 of which were born at home. My first homebirth was very difficult as I really underestimated what the pain would be like. My 2nd homebirth was so fast it was almost disorienting. My husband missed the baby slipping earth side in the amount of time it took to line the garbage can. My last birth was this past November. I was overdue for the first time and so ready to meet our son that I was so excited to be in labor. It was fast and nearly painless. By the time I had boys 3 and 4, I realized that giving into birthing and visualizing my body opening to allow my baby earth side reduced fear, perceived pain and labor duration. I felt totally in control with my last and caught him myself. It was amazing and such a high note to end my birthing years. I birthed four boys in 17.5 hours. There were many very intense moments but I truly believe the ability to let go of fear and visual helped me to progress quickly and without much pain. I’m so thankful for such amazing midwives that helped me trust my body and believe in myself.
Aleasha says
I haven’t had our baby yet, he’s due May 3rd, 2017, but your article helped ease my mind when thinking about having my first child. I’ve always known that my goal, when it comes to child birth is to have a natural unmedicade birth. Hey, my mom did it, I know I can too!!
My midwife recommended Penny Simkins birthing class which starts in a few days. My husband and I are anxious to learn as much anxious we can.
Wish me luck!
Lindsey Morrow says
Is this an online class? In person?
Sam says
Thank you thank you so much for this article! It honestly got me thru my natural birth with my second son almost all by myself. I lost my mucus plug the night before and the contractions statted at at 2 am. They were 20 mins apart and by 6 am they were 9 mins apart. I thought i would have atleast 12 hours of labor but by 8 am they were coming at 4 mins apart. Most of the time i was breathing and meditating and doing great managing the pain because my son was home and i didnt want to scare him. The min my husband left to drop him off at school i was screaming and thst felt great. I realised the baby will be here soon so we started to the hospital at 9:10 am. We got to the hospital at 9:30 and i was in transition the whole time from 8:30. I got to the hospital and literally jumped on the bed and the doc checked me and said i was ready to push. The baby was out in 5 pushes..though i had an episiotomy becuae of a previous tear it was such an amazing experience. I would tell every mama who is considering a natural birth that we can do it. Our body is made to handle this and by preparing ourselves thru out the pregnancy by staying fit at eating healthy and RED RASBERRY TEA LEAF really helped speed up the labor for me. If i can do it anyone can! Thank you Lindsey!
Tiana Renee says
As a mom of five boys, I just knew I had this birthing thing down packed, Each and every time. My water never broke so, I certainly couldn’t count on my water breaking as a sign that I was in labor. With each and every birth, in the We hours of the morning anywhere from midnight to 6am, those contractions would kick in, and once they got closer together and more intense, I knew it was time. I would arrive at the hospital and the nurses would always be quick to say, “oh you’re probably only a few cm”, quickly I would say, “hey, this is baby number _ so, I know my body, It’s time to go”. Thankfully I usually arrived around 4cm. Allowing my time at the hospital to be short. I would bring my DVD player/laptop with my Martin DVD’s because making me laugh was a great focal point to get my mind off of the pain. Changing positions was always great, and I would walk until I couldn’t walk anymore. It helped that during my last two births I was able to squat and push the baby out because of a pelvic condition (natural gravity) those babies just about flew out. Rubbing of the lower back and fanning me (from my husband helped). During one labor I was freezing cold. While others I was hot. I’ve always been pretty calm, no screaming or yelling (well except for baby number 3 who was 8 1/2 lbs, while my other birth were 7) lol. I love all these great tips you’ve included. Another thing I wanted to do before all births was make sure I ate good because I knew once I was in labor, there would be NO eating at all.
Tiffany says
My entire 2nd labor start to finish was 3 hours..first contraction to last push. I hit transition before my OB was ready and dressed. When he came in, I asked for the drugs. I hadn’t felt pain like that in my life. (My first child was born via C-section) All I could think about was wanting to stop the pain. But when I asked for the drugs, the doctor calmly said I didn’t have time, that my son was moments away and I needed to bare with the pain just a little longer. Hearing that sent me into an almost animalistic mindset. Something instinctual set in and I bared down and started to push. 4 good pushes later, my beautiful son was born. I am pregnant again with baby #3 and going for another natural unmedicated birth, this time in the water.
Lindsey Morrow says
WOW! Yesterday I heard a birth story that was a 40 minute ordeal. Incredible. Congratulations and I hope you have a water birth!
Jacy says
I had my first baby in August of last year. It was a quick labor, but very painful! Every time I said,”I can’t do this!” My husband would say, “You ARE doing it!” That simple sentence helped me so much! I have honestly always been so terrified of epidurals, so that helped me not give in in the moment! Also, I went into it with the mindset that it wasn’t even an option to get an epidural. So when the intense pain came, my only option was to breath(or scream) through, and know that my baby would be here soon! I was only admitted in the hospital for 2 hours and 50 minutes before my daughter was born, and only pushed for 12 minutes. 3 contractions!
Laura says
My first birth was an unwanted scheduled c-section (which is a whole other comment in and of itself). For my second baby, I knew I wanted the birth I’d planned for the first: a natural birth. By the time I presented myself at the hospital, I was 6cm and had been in labor for 21 hours. My contractions had been coming 2 minutes apart at home, but slowed to 4 minutes at the hospital. My super supportive midwife convinced me to let her break my waters (after a long discussion with her and my doula, I agreed. My midwife is VERY VBAC friendly and spent a while reassuring me that this would not derail my plans).
After my water broke, my contractions got a lot more intense- transition! I tried changing positions, vocalizing, staying silent… nothing seemed to ease the pain even a tiny bit. I requested a repeat c-section AND drugs, but my husband, midwife, and doula all talked me out of it, each using their own methods. My husband and I had a secret code word and he knew not to take my requests for drugs/intervention seriously unless he heard me utter the word (I didn’t!).
My doula suggested I get up and sit on the toilet for a few minutes- she said emptying my bladder would make more room for the baby. I think she just made that up to get me to move! While sitting on the toilet, my doula and I had a moment where she stared into my eyes and told me it was happening (I doubted my body’s ability to “really” labor and denied I was in labor pretty much until the end). Suddenly, I felt like I needed to go #2.
My midwife came to check me… and ended up announcing “She’s crowning!” So a small parade of us went from the bathroom to the bed- I led the parade, with my midwife behind me, hands underneath me to “catch” the baby, my husband rolled my IV behind me (I’m GB+), and my doula was somewhere in the mix as well. They helped me into the bed, I pushed twice, and within three minutes, my 8lb, 12oz baby girl was born- a successful unmedicated VBAC that has been most healing for me!
Elizabeth says
During my first pregnancy I had an awful experience because I went to the hospital too early and had a c section. Watching videos of people going through natural birth helped because I became more aware of what to expect and methods of coping. I read so many books and article and listened to birth stories. I understood that it was not going to be easy. I also learned that staying active during the early stages of labor instead of rushing to the hospital was best. I spent the morning cleaning doing laundry washing dishes and took naps. When the contractions were just 5 minutes apart I headed to the hospital and continued to labor in the parking garage. I knew it was time once it was difficult to walk or stand on my own. I was admitted at 7 cm and by the time they check you in and ask a million questions about insurance I was entering transition. Breathing and imagining my baby coming out helped me get through this stage. I ignored everything around me until it was time to push. I refused to talk to the doctor until I felt ready to push to minimize negotiating or offering me other services like pitocon or epidurals that I did not need. My husband supported me every step of the way and allowed me to do it my way. Staying away from the hospital till the very end and be admitted once the nausea hits saved me from having another c section.
Megan says
Love this srticle! I am pregnant with our 4th! Due end of Aug. early Sept. my first was over due and I had an epidural. So glad I did. My last 2 were completely medication free and 2 totally different experiences. My 2nd, at 39 weeks my water broke. We lived 59 miles from the hospital. I labored, fearfully in the car and got to the hospital, got on the bed and in 15 min had her. IV and led free. With my son, out 3rd, I had preterm labor. He was really low. I went I. For my 38 week check up. Turns out I was able to have my water broke to be induced (no pitocin thank the Lord. Had that with my first) I begged for a epidural during transition. I was 9cm. I had complete hip and back labor with him and it turns out he was shoulder dysctocia. The most comforting thing I heard was when my nurse checked me and told me “no epidural for you your 9 cm” my husband said “you got this. You can do it” put the confidence right back in me and I was able to suck it up and keep going ( not hat I had a choice) but you know what I mean. So, yeah. Wanting to do med free again and my son just turned one. So my last birth is still very fresh in my mind and painfully fresh at that. This article is helping me get my head back in the game. Which I am totally doing during this time of pregnancy you. Thank you!
Mel says
i had all 3 of my babies naturally my 2 girls i was on a hospital bed then with my little boy i decided i wanted to squat but i ended up having a water birth which now that its over with i can say it was amazing although i wouldnt of agreed at the time it was all over in 2 hours but felt like 12 to me and i forgot all about the transitional stage until reading this post it was the hardest thing iv ever been through i remember jumping out of the birthing pool demanding pain relief and my partner telling me i didnt need it i was doing great but i was begging and begging then all of a sudden i just pulled myself together and just got through it but this was only 20 months ago and iv just found out im pregnant again i am terrified i dont think im physically or mentally strong enough to go natural a 4th time i dont know if its because im older and softer but im scared!
audra says
My fourth was born with no medications, I choose to labor at home as long as possible. I knew I was transitioning and ready to get to the hospital when I started swearing. I never swear. My husband thought I still had some time and spent forever getting the car ready, checking the oil, filling all the fluids, etc. When he came pack inside to get me I about chewed his head off! It was near impossible to move during this stage for me, I could only move when I wasn’t contracting. I was having contractions ever 2 minutes and by the time we made it to the hospital I was 10cm and the nurse felt her head. I barely made it to a room and was put on the bed before my body was pushing. I couldn’t control the pushing. I was begging for pain relief, I had three epidurals before because all three were induced for different reasons. I had no idea how painful natural labor was. I felt like I was being torn into two pieces and burning up from the ring of fire. It was my hardest, fastest and easiest to recover from. And I plan on another unmediated delivery when I have our 5th in October. Laboring at home was the trick for me. I escaped from reality and just focused on my body and my baby. I did not want to talk to anyone nut my husband and I was so annoyed my mother wouldn’t stop talking to me. I wish she had taken the kids somewhere that morning.
Lindsey Morrow says
I’m sorry but that made me laugh reading about how your husband was checking the oil and filling the fluids. I’m sure he meant well, but his energy was mis-directed! You did it before and you can do it again. You got this!!
Jo Rivers says
35 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday! Birth totally natural even though I was termed an “elderly” primaphara(?) (first time mother), in my late 30s. Pre-natal classes with wonderful obstretician, all of us wanting natural childbirth…although apparently only 2 out of 15 attained it. The one thing that threw me (temporarily) was transition stage, taken by surprise as my body suddenly went out of control, shivering and shaking, lost consciousness and sense of time… maybe this helped me get through it? Anyway, when I came to, changed to squatting position and started pushing and baby came out soon after, It It was so wonderful to be conscious during the actual birth and able to touch baby and bond with her immediately; and she for her part was so alert when born, because no drugs in her system:no crying or screaming just calmly looked around her
McKayllif Stagman says
My partner and I asked our best friend to be our donor and he accepted with honor. We want to start trying to conceive next year before we move to Oregon so that we have easy access to the sperm and so that I am not so pregnant that I’m too big to help with boxes! I have read this article and all the comments, and a lot of the worries I had about the pain are gone. This will be my first pregnancy/birth and I will be 23. My partner and I are both Vegans and we want to have a natural water birth, so we are birthing and raising our little one very differently than how we were birthed and raised. We want a Midwife and because we are going against the grain, we might desire having a Douala on our side but I’m afraid that it might be expensive to hire one. Any advice?
Susie says
My method was to relax, relax, relax. Don’t fight the contractions!! Breathe through them and let them do their work, just breathe and relax every muscle in your body to the best of your ability. Practice this with leg cramps during pregnancy! Lol no, seriously, I did that, very similar pain and similar remedy. Writhing and screaming only make you hurt more (learned this experimentally also) if you can relax the pain is worst and I’m convinced lasts longer.
Susie says
*if you CAN’T relax, I meant 😉
Charlotte Keppers says
I’m hoping you can help me because I’m still trying to make sense of what happened during my 1st birth 6 months ago. I wanted an all-natural birth and hes giving birth in a hospital. By the time I arrived 2 weeks past my due date I was 6 cm dilated and handling the pain well. I progressed to 10 cm in 4 hours breathing through the contractions and kneeling on the bed. They had me hooked up to an IV so I really couldn’t move much. Once I hit 10 cm I was not feeling the urge to push but the contractions kept coming and were so painful. They broke my water and I pushed for 4 and a 1/2 hours . When my doctor came back-to reassess she said the baby had not descended at all. It was incredibly discouraging. During this whole 4 and a 1/2 hours nobody at the hospital offered any suggestions on positions or things I could do to manage the pain or speed up the process. It was my 1st baby so I didn’t know any better or that this was bizarre. I beg for and an epidural and waited 45 minutes to get 1. At no point did my contractions slow or space further apart they were coming every 60-90 seconds and lasting the same time. Once the epidural started working I began to push for another 8 hours until it wore off. At that point the baby still had not descended and I had AC section. They had to push the baby back in to perform the c-section. I never want to experience anything like that again and was hoping you May be able to help me understand what happened? My doctor Had very little explanation or feedback and I’m still grappling with what happened 6 months later. Any thoughts on what I could do differently for the next birth?
Lindsey Morrow says
Hey Charlotte. Wow, what a story. Thank you so much for taking the time to share these intimate details of your birth experience. Good job! The first step is to talk about what happened to safe people in your life. I just want you to know that I am amazed at your endurance. 12 and a half hours of pushing?! That’s incredible. You are a birth warrior. It’s hard for me, not having been there, to say what happened and what you could do differently next time. But I can recommend a couple of things for you to do – 1) request your medical records and 2) connect with a local ICAN group. I think by doing those two things you will have some questions answered and begin healing. Much love to you.
Rebecca says
For my second child this thought helped me get through unmedicated: “As soon as he’s out the pain will be gone!” This was my light at the end of the tunnel. I could remember from my first birth how immediate the relief was once the baby was out.
Laura says
Being in the water was the biggest help for my first. With the weight of everything eased a little I was able to focus on relaxing my body, even when things ramped up (I had a much harder time doing that while out of the water). For my second it was similar, and ended up being a slightly shorter labor. My third was fast and intense! What got me through the powerful, seemingly back to back contractions of transition (along with being in the water once again) was KNOWING that I was in transition. I remember consciously thinking, “Things are picking up, I am feeling nauseous…baby is CLOSE!” And boy was she close. Minutes later my water broke, and within the next minute, as I was about to move to “dry land” to deliver, baby arrived faster than I thought possible!
I have been an unofficial doula for a number of births and I agree that the quiet, calm encouragement of “Things are moving, You got this!” can really help empower a mama to stick it out.
Sarah says
Here in France where I am a British expat they have a local epidural – which allows you to get up and walk around as well as being mobile afterwards. I noticed a lot of people said they didn’t want epidural due to the mobility and wondered if this is a better option when taking one? Apparently they have been doing them for over 10 years.
I’ve never had any surgery, accident or broken a bone so I’m really not sure if I can cope with the pain or not! I have to do hospital birth as high risk – first at 39 and too heavy for their liking (just extremely stocky with strong large dense bone structure so have a rugby player physique 🙁 I’ve not put on more than about 1-2kg throughout the whole 37 weeks I’m at now. But they read BMI so I’m high risk. No water births or anything like that.
I can ball, shower, bath and massage and will most likely end up with the local epidural but will try and put it off as long as possible.
Anyway so sometime in the next 2-4 weeks hopefully!
Lindsey Morrow says
Interesting! Never heard of that here in Florida. But I’m not surprised… we are often behind the game as far as maternal health goes. Best of luck to yoU!
Alex says
They are also known as “walking epidural”. But of course they do not work the same for all. I have heard some say it knocked them on their ass…so you never really know.
Mich says
I paced back and forth during my entire 12 hour labor including transition. I took 1 dose of nubain, and it was more to allow me to sit and rest my legs than anything. As soon as it wore off transition hit hard. I still paced , though. I leaned heavily on my husband. Something about forcing my feet one in front of the other and crossing the room kept me focused and steady. It was like symbolic of the journey I was on…or maybe I was literally trying to walk away from the situation! I vocalized a lot too. My amazing nurse started saying ‘” you’re doing SO GOOD ” because I guess it was obvious I’d hit transition. I thought she was nuts and was about to say epidural please, but then it was time to push. 15 min later, I met my daughter. I only hope I can be as much of a badass with my son (due in November!) as I was with my first. 🙂
Aleksandra says
Dear Lindsey, your article helped me trough my third labor so much, like you were my doula 🙂 I was searching for some phisical and mental help on internet and accidentaly find your article. During my 24 hour contraction I was at home, concentrated, doing rekigoligiously everything you wrote 🙂 when thing were getting hard (read, transition came) I went to hospital so brave and convinced that everything will be perfect and fast. So it was. Hour and a half was the time from my arrival to hospital to kissing my lovely son. My comment is a way to say thank you sooo much. Sending love from Serbia <3
Lindsey Morrow says
I’m so honored to have been part of your journey!
Becky Glebov says
Dear Lindsey,
I had my first baby at the end of April this year and I have to say this article was a life saver!
My contractions started around 9pm on the Sunday and by 11pm I couldn’t lie down so I knelt over the bed alternating from my knees to my butt (we have a very low bed) and I noticed my body taking over, I started swaying my hips a lot and that brought some relief, and just being in a kneeling position relieved most of the pain.
When 7am rolled around (no sleep at all) my husband suggested I go have a shower and it was one of the best showers of my life haha. Again I was on my knees with water hitting my back and it was amazing, I could’ve stayed there all day.
At 9am we called the midwife and I had my hubby drive some tennis balls into my back (again, amazing) the midwife arrived around 10am and I was at 3cm so she gave me some gravol so I could sleep and she left (she assumed it would be a while before things got moving and didn’t want to crowd me) and about an hour later I was being hit with back to back contractions and I couldn’t move without getting hit with another one. I remembered this article and thought “oh boy here we go” I kept saying to myself “be brave be brave be brave this is normal everything is fine” and my hubby being SO calm (continuing with the tennis balls) kept me super calm. We called the midwife again and she made it with an hour to spare, my water hadn’t broken but baby had moved down and I was pushing without really noticing what was going on (my midwife asked “are you pushing already?? And I said “I don’t know?!?!?”)
My water finally broke and baby was out 2mins later! Grand total of 18hrs start to finish, and I couldn’t have done it without the strength I received from God, my amazing hubby, and this article! Thank you so much for all you do!
Lindsey Morrow says
Wow Becky! Thank you so much for leaving this comment. I’m so happy for you! You were SO BRAVE!
Alex says
My first birth was med free in the hospital however I do not feel I really experienced transition as I didn’t feel ready to push when the OB decided it was time to rip my baby out. I was left traumatized due to her unprofessional negligent behavior. My second birth was an ecstatic healing homebirth/freebirth. I feel being in the privacy and safety of my own home made all the difference (I spent most of my birth in the hospital alone in the shower). So if you need your privacy to relax and let go (as most do) I recommend looking into homebirth or even freebirth first and foremost. I had a birth pool which I got in near the end of labor after moving around my home, squatting, and bouncing on my birth ball(which was amazing). I had low light with candles lit since it was night as I labored (low light is very important). Once I got intoy pool things started to pick up. My waters released and my contractions intensified. I moved around the pool to find a comfortable position, eventually sitting up against the wall of the pool where I got a brief rest, drink and head rub from my partner…then it was time…I nearly tensed up and started to move forward…but I whispered to myself “no”, as I knew that would gete nowhere. So I leaned back and got the urge to push (first one was to get some poo out the way … totally normal…no shame). I had a bit of an out of body experience as I felt like I could see my babies head emerging. I knew the only way out was through. I can’t say how many pushes I gave as it was all instinctual and quick. But before I knew it my baby was out arms stretched and eyes wide open. I am expecting my next in October and hope to slow the pushing down a bit and focus on breathing my baby down. I think this baby needs that were as my last wanted to come fast and furious….she is quite the little firecracker!
Shannon says
It’s so interesting to read all these stories! My sweet boy was born in May, and transition was certainly my own personal hell. It seemed like no matter what position I tried, I was making everything worse. The doctor who was in the room was really helpful with suggestions, but as I said, nothing worked until I sat on a ball, leaning over the bed with my head on a pillow and my husband applying counter pressure to my back (I had all back labor which I pray to God to never have to experience again). At one point, soon after moving to the ball, I did yell out because I felt so helpless, but the doctor and my husband kept reminding me to breathe through it, and that really helped. Focusing on breathing through the pain and reminding myself to keep my hands open instead of fists and my jaw relaxed is what got me through it. Prior to moving to the ball, I did look at my husband and said “I’m done, get me the medicine. Now.” He and the doctor said I was doing great and that I could do it, but I demanded it. We agreed to check my progress and decide from there. I was at 9.5 cm and the doctor said “this baby’s going to be here before we can even get the anesthesiologist here!” I think that’s when I moved to the ball and really buckled down to get that last half a centimeter gone so I could push. Thankfully, I only had to push for 10 minutes and my little guy was in my arms in a total blur. It’s all so worth it, but man do I hope to not have back labor next time around lol
Samantha says
I had a quick birth but I got really sick and was throwing up the whole time. The only way I got through everything was silence and I picked something to focus on in the room. I focused on the Samsung label on the DVD player and just breathed every time I had a contraction. I wanted an epidural but didn’t get one because my anesthesiologists got coded and couldn’t give me one in time. It was tough but I did It!
Rebecca O'Dell says
My first birth was a home-birth and I knew from the beginning that i would have to embrace it all however it would come. I labored in the water through transition, my mother gave me sips of coconut water and my husband rubbed my shoulders. I found that suspending myself in the water and swaying from side to side was very relieving – for a while. Then i had to change positions with my head in my arms on the edge of the pool kneeling. Once I reached 10cm my midwife told me I’d have to get out of the water to push her out since we needed the help of gravity and I was beginning to relax too much haha! It was the most painful counter-intuitive thing for me to stand up (the sudden pressure was insane!) and climb out of the pool but 30 mins later I pushed her out! I found water very helpful during that birth.
Nitachia says
I had my water broken at 930 pm and by 130am I was in transition. I had terrible back labor so I decided to use the shower.in the labor room. I had a shower chair in there and sat on it between contractions. My husband stood behind me and used the shower head to efflage my back between contractions. During contractions I would stand up, widen my legs and squat slightly which helped the baby descend. He helped me with my brething but at the most intense part of the contraction I vocalized whatever animal sound came out of my mouth. Lol. My husband used pressure points on my back to counter the pain and I held the shower head on my lower belly during contractions. I was in the showe for 2 hours – only coming out at the request of my midwife (who was check the heart rate every 15 mins while I was in the shower) because I was getting dizzy and exhausted. It really did help though. I kept remembering this post during that time when you feel like you can’t take it anymore and want to give up, you are almost there! Laughing gas was ok for helping me between contractions. However it made me hyperventilate because I couldn’t vocalize and had to have completely controlled breathing. My son was born at 430am after an hour of pushing and I felt incredibly empowered and exhausted that I was able to do it without the epidural.
Rachael says
With my unmedicated birth (my second birth following a birth with an epidural for my first), it helped to know in advance that once I felt like I couldn’t handle it it meant I was almost done. I kept telling myself “You’re almost there.” and I wouldn’t let myself say outloud “I can’t do this!”. When thoughts like that popped up I would answer back “You are doing it! You can do it. You’re almost done!”. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the pain wasn’t scary because I knew nothing was wrong and the pain had a purpose. Yes, it was still the most painful thing I’ve ever done, but it didn’t cause panic. And, recovery was 100 times better than my epidural birth. I remember saying in the hours and days after birth “I don’t even feel like I just had a baby! This is amazing!”.
Lindsey says
Wow, this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing!
Kirsten says
I loved reading this! My first birth was unmedicated, in the hospital…my goal was totally unmedicated/natural and my husband was 100% supportive and was amazing through my entire labor. I had been in active labor for about 3 hours total up until this point: water broke, contractions hit fast after about an hour and then anouthrt couple hours passed between driving to the hospital and actually being in labor & delivery. At last cervix check, I was about 6 cm (I had been 4 cm/90% effaced for 2 weeks prior to that, and before that, I was 2-3 cm/80% effaced for another 2 weeks, so I’d really only progressed another 2 cm). All of a sudden, things got INTENSE. I can totally relate to how you describe transition as feeling out of control and panicky. I demanded a cervix check. Doctor was taking her sweet time. Then I demanded an epidural. As requested, hubby kept asking if I was sure. Had I known I was transitioning I would have felt “better” about the increased sensation and intensity but I don’t trust my body to be moving so quickly. Then, I felt the urge to push. Again, not trusting my body, I became fearful: if I was only at 6 cm, I couldn’t resist pushing and handle the major contractions for another 4 cm. Finally doctor came in…anesthesiologist was still on their way. She checks me: I’m at 10 cm and ready to push she says. She asks if I want to wait for an epidural. Nope, I’m good, the worst was over. So long story short, I learned that I need to listen to and trust my body. Total labor time was 4 hours, including 30 min of pushing. Fast but very intense. Had I been told that I was probably transitioning, I think that last hour would have been more manageable. Again, thanks for the great read! Saving this as I’m pregnant with #2, planning an unmedicated home birth!
Michelle says
Hello Moms! I know this comment is a bit off the wall but I really need some feedback. I decided not to have children early in life and as I grew older and met the most beautiful loving man in my life I began to question my decision not to be a mom. After much thought about finances, love, support, and our future we decided to seriously consider having a child. I began looking into Natural birthing plans and that is when I stumbled across birthing videos. The screaming still haunts me to this day! After first looking at birthing videos I did not sleep for over 72 hours and cried hysterically. Even now while typing this message I hear the cries of moms in labor. I am in utter disbelief about the reality of pain women go though to have children. Because of these experiences I have seen I fear to give birth and not be able to come back from it. I know I could handle the pain and give birth because that is what our bodies do- survive and it is what we must do. So I know it can be done but the way my mind will be altered after experiencing that level of pain I fear will damage me and the way I see the world and would end up damaging how I mother. I cannot fathom, comprehend, understand, in any way, why so many women give birth again if it is as painful as I see and hear. I TrueType don’t understand and we have decided not to have children. I applaud every mother and the love and sacrifice they have for their child. You are truest warriors!
Can anyone please help me understand why this level of pain is ok? Why is it acceptable over and over again? If it is so painful to cry, scream, beg for death then how HOW are so many of you willing to do it again?
As you can see this is truest haunting me and any of your experiences shared are appreciated.
Stephanie says
I am pregnant with my 9th baby. I am thankful to have had natural unmediated births so far. I could write a lot about my birthing experiences, but I think I will simply speak about the best labor.
I obviously had experienced several other births, but by the 5th I realized I really had to focus on relaxing. For me tensing up made things worse, so each contraction, I would have to remind myself not to clinch my fist, not to clinch my jaws, to relax my shoulders, things like that. I did also try to focus on what my body was doing or needing to do. I thought on verses of strength and perseverance. I was handling things so well I was afraid when I got check I’d be told I was at a 4 or 5 , but I was at a 9. I cried. A little while later I decide to try to labor in the tub a bit. A few contractions of sitting in the tub I heard a big pop and baby was ready to come out. It was beautiful.
So I would say, if you’re able exercise during pregnancy, eat and drink during labor for strength and energy, don’t focus on the pain, and focus on relaxing your muscles. You’ll be better equipped. Also, having a spiritual help like the verses really helped me too.
Jennifer Boyer says
With my first baby, I had An epidural but it only worked for a short time and then I felt everything during transition and pushing. Being afraid and not mentally prepared for that pain was very hard! Something that really helped me was I had my husband give me “Indian burns” on my arm (twist with both hands in opposite directions on the forearm). It was painful but in a good way where it distracted my brain from other pain going on in my body. But I was Diagnosed with CPD Cephalopelvic disproportion, had 39 stitches and pushed for 2 hours. It was a very traumatic experience and as I’m reading more about natural births, I’m learning how it could have gone so much differently. My 2nd baby I had an epidural too which worked like a charm but I had a bad reaction which put me back in the hospital a week later. Also the OB didn’t even show up. I’m pregnant with #3 and really hoping for a natural home water birth! I’m freaked because of what I experienced With baby #1. How do I know If I’m committed enough for that marathon? I know I could do it, but clearly I’m fine with epidurals! I just Want this one, my last one, to be different. A faster recovery, no allergic reactions, my support team there for me the WHOLE time, and to be a beautiful sacred experience. But I’m freaked out
Andrea Zilinskas says
Both my babies were unmedicated births. and both were fast, second being much faster and the pain, more intense. Worth it in the end but everything you wrote really resinated with me. I said all of those things, especially “Help Me!” With Kiyan, my second, I truly felt like I went into a panic attack mode. I felt I couldn’t breath and was going to die. But, as you said above, once I changed my thinking, decided to be quiet and turn into myself, I found a deeper strength and before I knew it he was here. Thank God for my supports. My mom, sister, midwives and amazing, hilarious, sweet, scared and loving husband. I’m so glad I persevered both times. Thanks for your terrific blog!
Rachael says
Thank you for this great article and all the wonderful stories underneath it. I had my first in July of last year and am days/weeks away from having my second.
I had to think about what I did during transition. I spent the first 10 hours laboring at home just fine. That was really the best part of labor, safe, exhausting (I couldnt sit down, the contractions were too intense), and comfortable (at labor can be). When I felt like I had to push we went to the hospital, 6 cm. But there was a bunch of things wrong with my son. Basically I went into panic mode. I was having panic attacks between the contractions as I thought my son was going to die. I asked my husband if I said I can’t do this any more and apparently I did, though I dont really remember that. In 2 hours I was 9.5 and felt like I really needed to push. I do remember while pushing asking how much longer it was going to take. In hindsight I find this extremely hilarious as I only pushed for 45 mins. The entire birth was unmedicated and now as the second one comes I’m trying to prep for another unmedicated birth.
I’m a little worried how I’ll handle the pain this time and also about the speed of the second labor. I want to stay at home as long as possible, but I’m not quite ready for a home birth yet. Reading over the tips is helping me feel more in control about getting through labor this time. And another cute and adorable baby is on its way to join our family! Thank you!
Rosalie Pollard says
Oh my goodness! I just read every single comment and feel so much better than i have felt in months about this! I am 41 yrs old and 4 mos pregnant with my 2nd child. They will be 18 years apart (go ahead and laugh, i know its like a sick joke! i am so excited though)and so it’s been quite a while since my drug free birth of my daughter at 23 and Im Scared! This really helped me add ive been telling the doctors and family that i want a c section which isnt logical at all and all fear and vanity based. My labor and delivery went quite smooth really, except that my husband was a clam and didn’t offer any verbal support or cheer me on (ex husband) and i had to rely on an amazing nurse to help me through. That and it hurt like nothing else could and leave me still alive! I guess i feel i may not be able to do it this time since I’m 41 and I’m worried my body won’t recover. Also, i live 1.5 hours from a town with a birthing hospital so we have a drive. !!!
Lindsey says
You can totally do this! Hire a doula. 🙂
Gabby young says
When we arrived at the hospital I was already at a 6-7 and began to transition within the next 30 minutes. During labor I noticed that I gravitated towards an elevated hands and knees position with my hands on the ottoman at home and on the bed at the hospital and my knees on the floor. At the end I remembered your blog post about the benefits to changing positions during transition and even said out loud to my husband in between contractions, “I need to change positions.” He asked, “is this position not comfortable?” I said “it is, but if I don’t change positions I’ll never have this baby.” (This was around the same time that I noticed my contractions getting much closer together and much more intense). We moved to a standing, slow dance position and I IMMEDIATELY began feeling ‘different’. I called the nurse in and asked her to check me. She said that I was a bulging 8 and during my next contraction my water broke. I began involuntarily pushing as soon as my water broke. The nurse wanted to check me once more to make sure I was close to a 10 and asked me to get back in bed. I (irrationally) told her to check me on the (wet, cold, tile) floor. I don’t remember this but my husband says he and the nurse had to pick me up and put me on the bed to check me. I then pushed for 30 minutes in an upright position with my hands on the elevated bed for about 30 minutes and then she was here. I ended up having a 13 hour natural hospital birth and I credit a lot of it to you and your blog posts and the things I learned here.
Haley Jones-Shumaker says
I had recieved an epidural because I was physically not handling the pain well at all, and the doctors could tell it was having an affect on my baby. Anyway, I received the epidural at around 8:30 AM, and by the time I was having the transitioning pain, my epidural wasn’t doing anything for me! I had maxed out for the epidural where I had been on it so long, and ended up going through transition and the delivery feeling EVERYTHING! At that point it had been roughly 10 hours since I first received the epidural, and after an hour of pushing hard, I mean HARD, and receiving oxygen, I finally delivered my daughter. She unfortunately was delivered facing my inner thigh because the cord was around her neck, though not constricting her. SHe also relieved her bowels in the birth canal, therefore the nurse immediately began massaging my stomach, and my midwife stripped the placenta immediately. This was to decrease my chance of getting a bad infection from the poo. As soon as my placenta was removed, all my pain was gone, and at which they went ahead and handed me a screaming baby girl 🙂 I am pregant with my fourth baby (2 miscarriages prior), and hope to try some of these tips, tricks, and empowerment to get through the pain to hopefully keep me from stalling like I did with my daughter. I still have back related pain from the epidural from 3 years ago, so I really want to avoid it at all costs!
Lindsey says
Wow, what a story! Have you considered hiring a doula this time?
Kim says
With my 5th baby, I remember looking at my husband and telling him I had hit 7cm. The “double contractions” were there to stay. I had the head of the bed raised and I sat on my knees facing the head of the bed and leaned into it. When I needed a change of position, it was a modified child’s pose that I found was most comfortable. I alternated between the 2 until the nurse finally agreed to check me…and then she was racing around and calling the Dr because she hadn’t believed me when I told her it was close (he was my fastest labour and delivery by far but also my most complicated). Squatting position helped a lot to get me to 6cm along with my husband putting pressure on my lower back and hips.
Jyl Linville says
Hi! I have to tell you, this article was part of the reason I was able to have an unmediated birth! The part about staying in a position for 3 contractions was super helpful and kept me in the game and open to trying new positions. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and experience…it was literally a game changer for me. ❤️
Lindsey says
Wow, thank you for this comment. I’m so grateful it was helpful and made all the difference! I am so glad!!
Katie says
I had a really terrible flu two weeks before my first baby was born, and I had him in a birth center – LOVED my midwives and other birth attendants. It was absolutely the most affirming environment I could’ve imagined giving birth in. Because of how severe my cough was when I had the flu, I was already 5 cm dilated when I got my very first contraction. I had prodromal labor for two days, but once I hit 6cm, it was less than 4hrs before J was born. Transition was a very mentally dark place for me – I kept trying to pray throughout my labor, but was undergoing an enormous amount of spiritual attack, including genuinely believing that I was making mistake by having a baby. It took me a long time to come to terms with that, and I think partially because of that I had a challenging bonding experience with our son for the first six or seven weeks. To manage the pain my husband poured water down my back and did counter pressure and then I had a very short pushing experience too.
Now I’m pregnant with baby #2 and planning another low intervention natural birth, but the mental darkness of labor still haunts me a bit. I really like your advice to “decide to be brave” and I’m definitely going to tell my husband about that and post it in my labor room. Thank you!
Jackie says
I had back to back contractions with my second 6 hours before I needed to push. It was the most intense and painful experience I’ve ever been through. I was in the tub, and I had 2 or 3 back to back. I was crying begging for an epidural and had to wait several more hours before I could get one. I’m now pregnant with our third baby and wanting to have a different experience!
Lindsey VanAlstyne says
I hope you do! I highly recommend a doula. But maybe you have one already. 🙂
Rachel says
I had 2 unmedicated births and am due with my 3rd baby next month. Having my mom give me back rubs and apply strong counterpressure to my low back is what got me through transition! She was a life saver!
Sarah says
I was linking this entry to my birth story and realized that I stead of just sharing with my friends, I should tell you that this post has gotten me through three deliveries now–one hospital, one birth center, and one homebirth. It spoke to me like nothing else I read and got me through each time. My entire contraction-mantra is based on this post! I share it with pregnant friends, too. Thank you so much for writing and posting it! It helped me understand labor and birth for the first time and get through two fully unmedicated births, and my first birth, which ended up medicated just at the end, but was many, many hours of labor before that. I don’t know what I would have done without it.
Lindsey VanAlstyne says
Wow, thank you so much for writing this comment! I really appreciate knowing that it was so helpful for you – three times! This post in particular has been a way for me to be a doula without actually being there. I’m so glad you found it helpful and that you share it with your friends. Awesome!
Ilse says
I would like te say, You have a good way of explaining what to do if you want a natural birth. I live in the Netherland and natural births are very commen. With my second birth i did a lot of moving around. As the midwife would say, i was doing a labour dance. In the Netherland you have a midwife helping you with your birth if your birth is not medical. In the shouwer i did some yoga poses. It only took 4 hours of labour and three pusches to get my baby boy out.
Lindsey VanAlstyne says
Thank you! 🙂
Ce says
I’m currently pregnant with baby number 6, all 5 of my children I’ve had natural births with. I’ve found for myself I find a a small focal point relax to the best of my ability breath and imagine something peaceful for me I love to imagine the colorful bright colors swirling around like in Fantasia. Others might enjoy a beach with crashing waves or a waterfall. I have done this with and without a support person even my nurse and Ob were talking to each other about their recent vacations and left me on my own, but I still made it through without being medicated.